Anxiety is a Choice

I read William Glasser’s book entitled Choice Theory. Glasser asserts that depression, anxiety and anger are all choices we make. In fact in his counseling method he does not allow expressions such as “I am depressed.” Instead he encourages his patients to think of a phrase such as “I am depressing.”  This sounds funny at first and can be misinterpreted, but he is encouraging the patient (or you or me) to take responsibility for our choice to depress or anger or anxietize.

This morning I was tempted by debilitating anxiety mostly caused by a lack of money. My wife and I have started doing some stretching exercises in the morning and somehow this lifted my feeling of anxiety just enough that I was able to think about choosing something else.

We choose unpleasant feelings like anxiety and depression because there is some payoff. Sometimes they are useful for a time. For instance it is better that I depress for a brief period if I would otherwise express my anger by throttling someone. I have discovered that I sometimes depress when I feel overwhelmed and I wish to be saved. This is a pattern established in my childhood in relation to my parents who would often seek to intervene when I seemed to need it. Now there is no one around me to take that role. I found myself transferring that hope of rescue towards my wife who does not play by my twisted rules. Choice Theory has helped me countless times from going down a fruitless and wasteful path of depression.

The Transition from Artist/Artisan to Businessman 002

I will NOT make another Mastertone clone… er…. well maybe…

When I started making banjos I fantasized about putting my mark on every aspect of banjo design, including peghead, inlay and more. Now that I am trying to survive as a businessman I have noticed that my own designs do not have the immediate mass appeal that I imagined.

Customers seem to trust the look they are familiar with. While designing is fun there is also joy in setting out to make something and having it come out as planned. I will settle for this joy and add to it the joys of satisfied customers and money in my PayPal account.

The Transition from Artist/Artisan to Businessman 001

I make banjos because it is a total expression of myself and my interests which include music, engineering, beauty and ergonomics. I went into full-time lutherie in 2009. I want to document my journey to survive as an artist and businessman.

Many people have artistic urges and may fantasize about a life that reflects these inner desires. The popularity of “The Secret” and expressions such as “Just do it” attest to this.

Fantasizing about a thing and doing it are quite different. The daily struggle for survival can be exhausting, but for me at least, it is too late to go back to punching the clock. My struggles and triumphs may or may not be typical, but somewhere out there is a person I may help. Also writing about it is therapeutic.

There may be a book in this head of mine, but if I do not take the time to write, it will never materialize. Therefore I have initiated this WordPress blog.

I leave you with the Luther’s Theme Song. The song is sung to “Soldier’s Joy” a traditional fiddle tune.

Oh the glorious life of a luthier
The glorious life for me
The glorious life of a luthier
Hurrah for lutherie

I got glue on my fingertips
Lacquer up my nose
But I’m not unhappy
As you might suppose
This glorious life makes up for all of those
It’s the glorious life for me!